Monday, February 06, 2006

Scale from 1 to 10

Cuteness scale, from 1 to 10.

1. The Predator. Every list has a bottom.
2. Centepedes
3. Kaiser Manhattan
4. Pile of dirty laundry
5. Basket of clean laundry
6. iPod
7. Basket of Jack Russell puppies
8. A chipmunk
9. Drew Barrymore
10. Baby harp seals

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Power Ballads

Power ballads are great. Everyone loves them, but acts like they hate them. I don't get it at all. My top ten, in no particular order:

Every Rose Has Its Thorn, Poison. A real classic. Once you hear that sigh, you know there's no turning back. It sounds great cranked up, and those "I feel for ya, man" lyrics are just awesome.

I'll Remember You, Skid Row. This song defines the genre. Crankable sound? Check. Tear-jerking lyrics? Check. Big hair? Oh, yeah.

Forever, Kiss. We can forgive them for recording a song written by Michael Bolton, especially when it's this one. Touching song, but I better not catch you crying. You big baby.

Love Of a Lifetime, Firehouse. A memorable song recorded by a band everyone forgets, but noone's list could be complete without the 'house.

The Lonesome Kicker, Adam Sandler. Normally, a satire song couldn't be selected, but this one really rocks. It would be funny if it weren't so rough on Andre Kristakovitchablinski, Jr. Funny like "Patches".

Livin' On a Prayer, Bon Jovi. Take my hand and we'll make it I swear. Shining example of a power ballad.

Not Enough, Van Halen. It was released in 1995, long after the heyday of the power ballad, but still rocks. Noone can scream like David Lee Roth. Except for Sammy Hagar.

Alone, Heart. Can girls sing power ballads? You bet, and Alone is alone on my list of fem-power ballads. Besides, Nancy Wilson (c. 1977) in leather pants was a sight to behold. Noone who's seen it has ever been the same. I need to go practice with my magic hands.

November Rain, Guns 'n Roses. It was a tough one between this and "Patience". Great classic video, too.

Don't Know What You've Got 'til It's Gone, Cinderella. They may've been a bunch of makeup-lovin' Cinderfellas, but this song's got it.

I'm bound to have missed a few, but I'm no Chuck Norris.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Ron Burgundy Redux

It's possible that Charlie Chase, of Nashville's Fox 17 might also be Ron Burgundy. And he used to be on Crook & Chase on TNN. It's him.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Ron Burgundy

Anyone besides me realize the resemblance between Ron Burgundy and Chattanooga, TN channel 9 anchor Bob Johnson? Was that movie based on his life? Check it out. Thirty years of swingin' lifestyle has bloated his face a little, but you can still see the coolness. FWIW, I heard that he and Neal Pascal have a long-running feud that occasionally bubbles up on camera.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

The future is gone.

I just found out that the last of the foam Xanadu houses was demolished in October. How did this not make national news? While everyone was reading about frivlous news like bird flu, the future of history (or history of future) was razed in Kissimmie, Florida. I remember visiting one of them in Gatlinburg, Tennessee sometime during the eighties. It was already getting out of date in some ways. At the time, CDs were already available, but Xanadu's 'futuristic' sound system featured a vertically-mounted linear tracking turntable instead. Much of the home automation was controlled by Apple ][+ computers, when our forward-looking family already had the much more sophisticated //c. The only thing that Xanadu had that I've yet to see in common use is the inductive magnetic range top. It's still kind of sad for me, as I loved seeing and visiting Xanadu, but it's gone forever. It's a wonder that it got any visitors in 1996 when it finally closed to the public.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

My dog Snotz

Hey, if any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head! And I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, d!ckless, hopeless, heartless, fat-a$$, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey s#!+ he is. Hallelujah, holy s#!+! Where's the Tylenol?

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas.

Merry Chri kiss my...

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Pepsi Holiday Spice

Looking for Pepsi Holiday Spice? Yeah, me neither. I'll also find some way to get by without the following others:

Pepsi Blue
Mountain Dew Code Red
Mountain Dew Pitch Black
New Coke
RC Draft
Crystal Pepsi